Wrapping up Summer

I visit mom as much as I can.  I'm constantly torn between wanting to be with her and wanting to be home with the family.  Mom can't communicate anymore.  We can still make her smile and laugh sometimes. It's just so heartbreaking.

Caitlyn and Hallee did an escape room with Sawyer and Hadley.  They all loved it!

Sawyer invited us to her dance showcase.  Hallee and I went and watched her.  It's always fun to watch her dance, she is so good!

The orthodontist said Wyatt's wisdom teeth needed to come out. We were able to get him scheduled quickly so he could do it before school started.  He told me he wanted Chipotle for his last meal.  I sent this picture to Jonah, I knew he would be proud of Wyatt's choice. 

It took a lot longer than when Caitlyn got her wisdom teeth out.  When they finally came and got me they told me that he kept waking up so they kept having to give him more anesthesia. They also told me that his teeth were really hard to get out. They thought he might have five wisdom teeth, but he just had a really large, weird shaped one. It took them a lot of hammering and drilling to get them out.  He was in good spirits on the way home. I told him that I would take him home and then Hallee could take care of him while I went to pick up his medication. He said, "I don't want her to take care of me, she likes pigeons."  That was really the only funny thing he said.  He kept telling me how strong he was, but that is normal, ha!

Wyatt started having a lot of pain quickly after surgery. I went to get his medicine and they hadn't called it in and then the office was closed, so it was a really big pain and he didn't get the pain medication in him as soon as we would have liked. 

He got really swollen really quickly.  He did not want any pictures, but I told him I had to have at least one. The let side of his face was more swollen and it's still a little bit swollen a week after surgery.  He was in a lot of pain for 3-4 days.  We are both glad that is done and over with.

Matt and Lori came into town last weekend to see mom. I couldn't go up on Friday because of Wyatt's surgery. Mel sent this picture of mom laughing with them.  Apparently she had a really good day and even said, "Hi Mel."  I'm so glad they got that time with her. I wish I could have been there for it.

On Saturday Tiff and I went up there.  Mom slept the whole time.

We stayed with mom for a while.  She would smile or laugh a little, but she never opened her eyes. 

After that we were able to visit for a while. Caitlyn, Amarie and Elena had fun hanging out and shopping.

We had a really good discussion on how we all wish things were different and we don't understand why mom keeps holding on and why she has to live like this. Dad talked about how he has learned that he has to put it in the Lords hands and can't keep telling Him what to do.  Everyone chimed in about how there are so many reasons that there is suffering and a lot we don't understand, but we know God is good and that He will help us through it.  It was so good for me to hear everyone share their faith, it really helped me because this is so hard! Lori sent us a song that summed up what we were talking about so I made a video of pictures of us with mom since she went there in January. It was good for me to do that, even though it was really sad.  It's been a very hard eight months (actually few years) but we have all felt strengthened and the video captures how much love is in our family.  This is all so hard because we all love each other so much. 

Caitlyn and I went back on Sunday.  Mom slept most of the time again.  You can see her smiling at something funny Caitlyn said in this picture. 

Mom always mouths the words to the hymns, even if she seems to be asleep.

Mom woke up and ate some dinner. Dad always takes such great care of her.

Everyone left to get Matt and Lori to the airport so I stayed and had Caitlyn come back and pick me up.  I hate leaving mom awake.  We left when we fell back asleep.  It was a quick visit for Matt and Lori, but it was great to see them.

This week has been a tough one. I'm finding it really hard to be social at work.  It's hard to smile and pretend I care when I really don't care about much right now.  Nothing seems to matter right now while I'm losing my mom and worried about her. I decided I needed to get the kids out after work on Monday.  We went up to Provo Canyon.

Wyatt still wasn't feeling great and wasn't took excited about going out with his swollen cheeks, but I think he ended up having fun. We brought his fishing stuff.

Hallee and I watched him for a bit and then he taught us how to cast. 

Wyatt was a great teacher.

We had fun casting and reeling it in. The water was really shallow so it wasn't great for fishing, but we enjoyed casting and reeling it back in.

I caught the tree once, but that was all we caught! It was nice to get outside and enjoy some beautiful nature. 

We keep watching mom's food intake for clues on how close she is to the end.  She hadn't eaten for a few days so I was sure she was going to die.  I cried for a long time Tuesday night and decided to take Wednesday off work to go be with her.  She ate lunch and dinner while I was there. I just sat with her and held her hand and worked on the slideshow while she slept on and off.  It was nice to take the day off work and just be with mom.

Tiff had Hallee over that day.  Hallee has loved spending so much time with Tessa this summer. 

The next day Tiff and I went up to visit mom again. Dad and Mel came over too. We stayed with mom for a few hours and fed her dinner.  After that we went over to dad's and Mel made us dill beef bake for dinner.  Mel is such a good cook, just like mom!  Dad wanted to show us this history of him and mom that he has been working on. He titled it, "Peggy and Gary Mini-History (our small plates)"

We only got through the first few pages.  It was so fun to hear dad tell us the stories about them meeting and getting engaged.  Mom was in paper when she won home coming queen and Delt queen.  Dad is really struggling with missing mom and he lights up when he talks about her and all of her accomplishments and all of the good times they have had. I'm excited to go back and see the rest of the book.

Lindy is back in town! We have missed her. She came over yesterday to bake with Hallee. It was great to catch up with her.

Keith and I went to the temple this morning. It's nice to have Orem temple so close and be able to escape the world there.  It still makes me think of mom every time I go.  The Orem temple looks just like the Taylorsville temple inside and I will always think of taking mom there.  I'm grateful I had those times with her.