Adventures with Hallee

We have had a very mild winter.  The weather has been great and we have been playing outside.  I love it!  I knew that a storm was supposed to come in this weekend so on Friday Hallee and I went to the parkway.  We decided to check out a different part of the parkway.  Hallee went right to work looking for sticks and rocks.

There was a big duck pond.  Hallee loved chasing the ducks. 

After that we walked over to a play ground so Hallee could play for a little bit.  It was in the middle of a ton of trees.  Hallee had fun jumping in the leaves after playing on the play ground.

It was a great area.  There were so many things to explore.

Hallee loved the bridges.  You can see all the trees behind Hallee.  It was such a fun area for kids to play and explore.

After we played and explored for a while we walked back over to the trail and walked for a while.  We went under quite a few tunnels.  Hallee wanted her picture in one of the tunnels.  It was a great way to spend the afternoon.  I love living so close to the Provo River.

Last week I started going to the gym every day and using an app to count my calories.  I'm trying to find a routine that works for me.  I have liked the counting calories because it has made me more aware of portions sizes and how many calories are in things.  I have had an inner struggle for years about accepting myself and not having my self worth be tied into how I look or how much I weigh, but still pushing myself to be better.  I'm not sure how to strike that balance. I hate the messages that society sends that skinny is good/healthy and heavy is bad/unhealthy.  I know a lot of healthy people who are in great shape, but will never look skinny.  I also know people who are not healthy but are thin.  I have been hiding behind that frustration though and not taking responsibility for my choices.  I want to change that. I have gone in and out of good eating and exercise habits my whole life.  I know I feel better when I exercise and eat right, but it is still a struggle and a choice I have to make every day.  I'm ready to work hard again.  I'm not going to focus on goals and failure/success, I'm going to focus on consistency and sustainable changes.  Finding balance in life is so hard.  Right now I have found a good balance and I hope I can keep it up.  I have felt so good and I have had so much more energy since I have been going to the gym.  Hallee and I went on our little adventure after I got home from the gym. I got home and instead of feeling tired I felt great and I didn't want to stop, I wanted to get out and enjoy some fresh air instead of seeking refuge in my bed, which is a big problem for me.  While Hallee and I were walking I was thinking that I need to change my mindset.  Too often I think I have failed, but you can't fail, every day is a restart.