Mom, why aren't we going to Idaho?

Wyatt and Ammon talk on the phone a lot and I love it!  Gary and Julie were going to Idaho over Memorial Day weekend to see Johanna in a play and Tiff and mom were meeting them there.  I debated about going and decided not to. Friday was our last day of school and Jonah left for FSY on Monday morning.  I was hoping it would work for me to take both boys because Jonah would love to see Jacob, but with FSY it wouldn't work.  When Ammon and Wyatt were talking on the phone one day Ammon asked Wyatt if we were coming to Idaho.  Once Wyatt heard about the trip he begged for us to go so he could see Ammon.  I was feeling less anxious at the time so I thought we could make it work.  Wyatt was so excited, he even offered to earn some money for gas! It makes me so happy that Wyatt and Ammon stay so close even though they live so far away.

I checked Wyatt out of school a little bit early and we picked up Tiff and then picked up mom and drove out to Rexburg.  It's only a four hour drive and it went really quick since I was visiting with Tiff and mom. We drove straight there because we were meeting them for dinner before Johanna had to get to her performance.  I'm so glad we made it, while Johanna and Caleb were still there.  Julie showed us the shirt they gave her for her birthday.  It says, "Grandma is my name Spoiling is my game."  I can't believe it, my nephew is going to be a dad! Caleb and Johanna are so excited and will make the best parents and Gary and Julie will be the best grandparents.  We are all so excited for them.

After dinner we both went to our rentals for the night to check in and put our stuff away.  Me, Tiff and Mom had an apartment not far from the place Gary and Julie were staying. We dropped off our stuff and went to meet them at their place.  They realized they didn't have the code to get in and finally got ahold of the lady who owned the place and she said that it was not on VRBO anymore and renters lived there. What?!?  Poor Gary and Julie spent the whole night on the phone with VRBO and got nowhere, luckily they found an Airbnb that they could get into that night.  It ended up being almost 11:00 PM when they finally got into their new place. I felt so bad for them, they handled it like champs!

The kids hung out at our place while the grown ups shopped for food and tried to figure out where they were going to stay.

I don't think anyone slept great Friday night.  The beds at our place were so hard! Grandma played a game with Wyatt Saturday morning while I got ready.  After that we went over to Gary and Julie's place for brunch.  It was so good! 

After brunch we went to play pickleball.  It was cold and windy so mom and I ended up going back to our place and I got a nap, it was great!

Wyatt and Ammon had fun playing at the park and climbing trees along with pickleball.

Gary and Julie took us all out to dinner Saturday night, which was so nice of them.  After that we went to the play.

The play was so good!  Johanna was the Blithe Spirit and she was fantastic.  Her character was so different from her personality so you could tell just how great of an actress she is!

The whole play was so well done.  It was really funny, so Wyatt enjoyed it too.

Our family is really good at supporting each other.  I know it made Johanna a little nervous to have us all there, but I think it meant a lot to her.  

Caleb and Johanna are just so cute.  They are so in love and so happy.  It was fun to see their apartment and just see how happy they are.  It's such a fun time of life and I'm so glad to see them enjoying it so much.

On Sunday morning we went over to Gary and Julie's for brunch.  The kids had fun playing games together while the adults visited.

Wyatt and Ammon were playing tag and having pillow fights in the house.  It rained a lot over the weekend so they were a little stir crazy on Sunday.

We went to church with Caleb and Johanna.  Church didn't start until 3 PM.  It is a young married ward so the kids had to stay with us for the second hour. Wyatt fell asleep.  He doesn't think he needs much sleep, but he does and he did not get enough on our trip.

Ammon thought it was pretty funny that Wyatt fell asleep. 

After church was over Wyatt was still sound asleep.  I told mom to photo bomb him, Ha! The truth is I'm really glad Wyatt fell asleep because otherwise I probably would have taken him out of the meeting.  It was a fifth Sunday meeting and the bishop was talking and it was rough.  I always try to look at the intentions of people and I really think he had good intentions. I also appreciate the fact that when we are at church, everything that is said will not apply to everyone.  It has taken me a long time to feel comfortable in the fact that not everything said at church is true and not everything applies to me.  We are all humans doing the best we can and church will never be perfect.  It was really hard to hear the bishop talk about anxiety and depression.  He was saying that it's only in America and it's a new thing (I think he meant it was more prevalent now).  It was so hard to hear him say that people who are depressed or anxious just need to serve more and it's so prevalent because we are selfish and always on our phones.  I assume he wasn't speaking about clinically depressed people, but he didn't make that distinction very well. While I type this I'm getting emotional so I know I'm very sensitive to this subject.  I have spent my whole life wishing I were different and that I could just snap out of my depression and wondering if it was just in my head.  I have worried that people think I'm crazy or just making it up.  I'm 41-years-old so I've made some progress and I know it's real, but I will always have my inner critic that I have to battle with, so if I feel criticized from outside it seems overwhelming. Just the other night Wyatt and Caitlyn were talking to us about their depression and anxiety and Wyatt said, "I don't hate myself, but I'm just mad at myself for being depressed."  This is progress for Wyatt because last summer when we were in the worst of his depression and trying to find him help he was caught in the trap of self loathing and constantly saying he hated himself.  As a mom it breaks your heart to hear that. He has fought long and hard to manage his depression and I do not want him hearing that he just needs to serve more.  He had felt depressed that morning before church and had to take a minute to be alone and fight through it.  Between counseling, medication and break dancing Wyatt's depression is manageable, but it is still there and it is still something he has to fight through. I have watched myself and people I love struggle with these things and I hate the message that we are just not trying hard enough. I have watched Caitlyn and Wyatt as very young children stress, panic and feel hopeless at a time in their life where most kids are carefree.  It is very real and we have to do better at acknowledging that.  Again, I really don't think people intentionally offend people and everyone is just doing the best they can with what they know.  I just feel very protective of my mental health and the mental health of my kids and I don't want them hearing things like that. It's therapeutic for me to write this and I want my kids to read it when they read our blog book.

Caleb and Johanna made us all enchiladas for dinner and then we did Come Follow Me.  After that some of us went and played pickleball.  I played this time and had a lot of fun.  The weekend went by so fast and it was already time to say goodbye.  I'm so glad we went and had this time with Gary and Julie and their family.