Bye Bye Baby!

Yesterday was one of those days that I realized that we have passed the baby phase.  Hallee is becoming more of a toddler every day.  Yesterday she was pulling herself up on things and even furniture walking a little.

It is exciting and sad all at the same time.  During church, Hallee got mad because I took something away from her, I tried to make her happy by giving her a book and she screamed and threw it.  That was sad, my sweet little baby is becoming so feisty!  She also spent Sacrament meeting hitting Jonah and laughing.  We might be in trouble with her!

It is exciting to see Hallee hit new milestones.  Her personality comes through more every day.  I think she is number four for a reason, she can hold her own!

She is so funny and so loud.  She loves to hear herself scream.  She loves when I imitate her sounds.  We can go back and forth with sounds for a few minutes and she thinks it is so funny.  Someone came up to me at church and told me she loves to watch me and Hallee and that I am doing a good job.  That made my day, my month actually.  It is amazing how good a compliment makes me feel. It is so easy to get discouraged, but someone can turn it around by saying one nice thing.  Note to self, compliment people more!

Wyatt and I love to go on lunch date to McDonald's.  Whenever we shop at Walmart we like to stop for lunch before we pick up Jonah.  Wyatt loves to look around and comment on everyone.  "Why does that daddy have a hat mom?"  I love this time with Wyatt, but my secret motivation is he will actually eat a hamburger without me spending 30 minutes begging him too.  He is so picky lately.  Keith watched Hallee and Wyatt while I went on Jonah's field trip.  He said it went well except for getting Wyatt to eat lunch.  I know I'm not helping the problem by taking him out, but some days I just don't have the fight in me.

Last week we took Jonah with us.  It was fun to eat lunch with my boys before we headed over to Caitlyn's program.

I don't think I ever posted this picture.  I tried to get some pictures on Easter and this one turned out pretty well.  Love my family!

Earth Day Program

The third grade does an Earth Day program at Caitlyn's school.  She does everything with the 3rd grade since she is in the split class.  They all tye dyed shirts at school. 

 It was such a good program. I loved all of the songs they sang.  They sang one song where they spell out Ecology and now Wyatt sings it.  It is so cute to hear my two-year-old singing a song about Ecology!

Caitlyn loved the program.  She loves to sing and perform.  She did such a great job.

We were glad that grandma was able to make it. Keith was able to leave work for a while to come watch.  Caitlyn was thrilled to have us all there watching her. 

Kindergarten Field Trip

I went on Jonah's field trip with him last week.  I love/hate field trips.  I love to be there with my kids, but oh my goodness I come home with a headache!  The bus ride is the worst.  The kids love the bus ride, Jonah was so excited to ride on a bus.  This field trip wasn't too bad until the bus ride home and then my headache came on full force!  Caitlyn's teacher told me she has Tylenol and a soda for breakfast on field trip days.  I totally agree with that!

We went to Thanksgiving Point.  We started out at the farm.  It was freezing!  We walked around the farm and went on a wagon ride.

Jonah was a little nervous, but he fed the llama.  My germ phobia was in overload on the field trip, between the kids touching all of the animals and seeing all the kids picking their nose and touching everyone and everything.  I prefer not to see it, I know kids are gross, but I can't handle watching it! It really was a fun field trip, I just have to vent about the gross stuff!

This was my group that I was in charge off.  They were all really good.  They did a good job of staying with me.  After the farm we went to the dinosaur museum.  They had a lot of fun exhibits that the kids could touch.

Jonah loved all of the sound ones.

Anything that makes noise is fun for Jonah.

Jonah loved this cave. 

They all loved digging for bones.  The day went by quickly because we kept moving from one thing to the other.

Jonah was so excited to eat lunch on the field trip.  We got a note about the field trip over a month ago and he wanted to pack his lunch that day.  I talked him into waiting until the night before.  He loved packing his own lunch.  I am really glad I was able to go.  It is fun to see Jonah with other kids.  He is such a social, fun kid.

Caitlyn's Baptism!!!!

We have all been looking forward to Caitlyn's baptism.  She has been so excited she could hardly stand it.  She had her interview with the bishop a few weeks before and he was so impressed with her knowledge and testimony.  She has always been a very spiritual girl.  It was a little crazy with the baptism being the same week as Jen's funeral, but it was nice to have extra family here for the baptism.

I nearly lost it (actually I think I did lose it) when we found out on Friday afternoon (the day before the baptism) that the baptism time and place had been changed.  They were refinishing the floors in the stake center and thought it would still be okay to have the baptism, but I guess it wasn't.  They were going to move the baptism an hour later which would eliminate some of our friends and family from the baptism or lunch after and really just make the whole event very stressful.  Luckily Keith and my family stayed calm and helped come up with options while I cried!  Keith called someone in the stake presidency and he was so nice and called the other stake where we would be having our baptism and asked if we could come in on the early baptism with them.  Everyone was nice and accommodating and it all ended up working out, minus my melt down! We spent the evening calling everyone to tell them about the changes. 

Matt and Keith set up for the lunch the night before and Katie picked up the food and finished off the decorating for us Saturday morning.  She has been a lifesaver! Saturday morning Mel came over and braided Caitlyn's hair and kept the boys while Keith and I headed to the church with the girls. Caitlyn ended up getting baptized in our old stake that we lived in when we lived in the town homes. Everyone was so nice and it was so great to spend the morning with Caitlyn and see her excitement.

Jenna made her this towel.  I think I loved it as much as Caitlyn!  The baptism was a wonderful, spiritual experience.  It was so personal.  We all met together first and they had a speaker and beautiful music.  While we were waiting to take our turn we sang primary songs.  My family was glad we weren't last so we didn't end up having a family sing-a-long.  When it was Caitlyn's turn we went back to the font and there was a man from the high council who talked to Caitlyn and told her to look around and see all the people who loved her and could help her in her life.  I got to go back to the font with Caitlyn.  Keith was waiting in the water for her and I watched from the stairs.  It was so amazing.  Caitlyn was glowing!  I helped Caitlyn get dressed after and we headed to a room for her confirmation.  Matt gave me great advice the night before and told me to just relax and enjoy the moment.  He said don't worry about hurrying or who is waiting for you just slow down and enjoy it.  He knows me so well, I took his advise and it made the day so much better. Our ward mission leader conducted and the primary president and bishop both spoke to Caitlyn.  I loved this part where we were just focusing on Caitlyn!  When I got baptized it was just me and my cousin so the stake baptisms where they are all together are very different to me.  I love having it so personal.  Keith gave her the gift of the Holy Ghost and a beautiful blessing.  You could really feel the spirit.  I'm so proud of my little girl!

After we headed to our church for lunch.  Everyone was so great and did so much that I really just got to sit back and enjoy the day.  I am so grateful for this.  Everything was perfect.  We did the same lunch that I did for Keith's graduation party.  I was going to make all of the salads because I didn't want anyone to bring anything, but with the funeral and all of our family stuff going on I was so grateful that all of my friends and family offered to help.

Caitlyn looked so beautiful.  The kids were all good and even though Hallee wouldn't take a nap she was really good. I'm so grateful for my family!

It was such a special day for all of us. 

Caitlyn loves her grandparents.

She is lucky to have two wonderful sets of grandparents!

Lori had this cute idea for the cake.  It says, "I like to look for rainbows."  That is a line from the baptism song.  I couldn't believe how quickly we polished that cake off!

She was excited to get her own set of scriptures with her name on them and a new scripture case.

All of the kids had fun playing together.  Jonah took advantage of eating without Keith and I around.  He said he ate two sandwiches, five bags of chips and two pieces of cake! 

Matt and Lori stayed in town for the baptism.  It was so great to have them here.  Cody and Jonah have so much fun together.  It was fun to have my aunt and uncle there too.

We tried to get a shot of all of the kids.  I think a few kids had left by this point.  We had a big group of kids.  My kids loved it!

Here are all the cousins.  It was so great to have so much support from our friends and family.  Caitlyn told me she was sad that aunt Jen wouldn't be there.  The last time we saw her Caitlyn gave her the baptism invitation and she told her she would be there.  I told Caitlyn I thought she would still be there and I think she was.  It was a stressful, emotional week leading up to the baptism, but I couldn't have asked for a better day.  Thank you to everyone who came and all of your help so I could sit back and enjoy the day.

Just keep Swimming!

Here is a random picture of Caitlyn and Jonah with Cody and Elena.  These guys always have a blast together.  We love every chance we get to see them. 

I sure love these kids!  They are each so different and unique. 

I know I am bias, but I sure think they are cute.  Some days I feel so inadequate to be their mom.  I just read my friends blog where she talked about the same feelings and it made me feel so much better.  I think she is the perfect mom so I was surprised to hear that she had the same feelings.  The thing I struggle with the most is my short temper and my lack of patience.  I feel like I am slowly making progress, but I worry that I don't have enough time and I need to progress faster before I really mess my kids up!

Love this cute girl!  We have had a rough week. I have been extra emotional and the kids have been extra difficult.  We had a really bad night and then it has been slowly getting better. 

I hope my kids always know how much I love them and remember the happy times instead of the times where mom was losing it!  That is why I keep this blog I want to remember the happy times.  I want to remember the day to day things, but I want to focus on the positive.  I don't need or want to remember all of my short comings, but they are apart of life.

If I could describe this point in our life in one word it would be, loud.  Our house is always so noisy.  Everyone tries to talk at once and someone is usually screaming because someone else is bugging them.  I think Hallee has figured out that she has to be really loud to be heard so she has started this ear piercing scream that can be heard over all the noise.  Yesterday at the store a few women stopped and turned when they heard her happy, little scream and thought it was pretty funny.  I wanted to say and this is only one of my four!

Mixed in with all of the yelling and screaming is a lot of laughing.  My kids are so funny!  They all constantly make us laugh.  Sometimes Keith and I are getting after the kids and they will make us laugh.  Wyatt is always good for a laugh, even when he is bossing me around! Life with four kids is crazy, loud and always interesting, but I love it.  I love my kids more than I ever thought I could and I hope and pray that I can be the kind of mom that they need and that I want to be. Sometimes it is nice to hear that other mothers struggle because when I look around I am sure that everyone has it figured out except for me.  Life isn't always easy, but it is good!

Till we meet again

Jennifer Lynn Ham 1972 ~ 2013
Our loving daughter, mother, sister, aunt and friend, Jennifer Lynn Ham, passed away April 4, 2013 at her home.
Jennifer was born September 17, 1972 in Provo, Utah to Gary and Peggy Ham. She grew up in Taylorsville City. Later she attended Weber State University and graduated with a degree in Social Work. Her caring personality and compassion were great assets to her as she worked with elderly patients who she loved. Her greatest joy was her two children.
She is survived by her children, Alexys (10) and Dante (8); her parents and siblings, Gary Jr. (Julie), Melanie Reives (Earl), Matthew (Lori), Allison Loosli (Keith), Tiffany Barth (Paul ) and 18 nieces and nephews and her grandmother, Betty Hawkins.
Funeral services will be held Tuesday, April 9th, 11:00 a.m. at Redwood Memorial Mortuary, 6500 So. Redwood Rd. with viewings Monday from 6-8 p.m. at the mortuary and 9:45-10:45 a.m. on Tuesday prior to services. Interment, Redwood Memorial Cemetery

I have been writing this post in my head for the last week.  This is our family record and this is something that I want to remember, but I don't know how to write about it and what I want to remember.  I lost my sister a few weeks ago and it has been a whirlwind of emotions.  Everything was so busy for the first couple of weeks that I didn't really have time to think about it all, except for at night when I couldn't sleep.  When my mom called to tell me about Jen I immediately called Keith who was in Phoenix on business.  I hated to burden him when he was so far away, but I needed him. His boss was wonderful and changed his flight and drove him to the airport.  I was so grateful for that.  Keith lost his brother two years ago and I remember just wanting to do anything I could to help him and I know he felt the same way.  Right after I talked to my mom and Keith, Katie called me.  I know she was inspired because I couldn't think straight, but I knew I needed to get over to Jen's house to be with my mom.  Katie immediately got in her car and came and picked up my kids so I could go.  One of the hardest things I have ever had to do is pick Jen's kids up and take them to my parents so we could tell them.  My heart was breaking for them.  Alexys and Dante wanted to stay with us for a couple of days.  I immediately felt very protective of them.  I wanted to help, I wanted to ease their pain and I wanted them to feel my love for them.  Although Keith and I received an answer that we aren't supposed to take them in, I know we will be a big part of their life.  My parents are going to raise the kids and we will do our best to support them all.  It is a life changing event for all of us, but especially the kids and my parents.  My brother Matt and I spoke at the funeral.  I let Matt do the Eulogy and talk about Jen and I took the gospel talk.  Matt did a wonderful job and it was nice to focus on what a great person Jen was.  I struggled with my talk.  I tried to write it on Saturday and I couldn't come up with anything.  Saturday night I asked Keith for a blessing.  On Sunday I sat down to write it and I wrote in just over an hour.  Ideas came in my mind and I found every quote I was looking for.  I know I was guided in what to say.  I am so grateful for that.  It was a beautiful funeral and you could feel the spirit very strong.  Life has been crazy since then with moving the kids into my parents and all of the other things that needed to be taken care of.  Emotions keep hitting me at different times.  Our whole family seems to be clinging to each other.  We talk more, we say I love you more and we spend more time together.  We have always been a close family, but we all need each other a little more right now.  Keith has been a saint.  He has taken the kids and picked up all the slack at home so I can help and spend time with my family.  I am so grateful for the knowledge I have that this life is not the end.  We will be together with our loved ones again.  What an amazing comfort that is. 

Every trial in life has blessings mixed in.  One of the blessings we have experienced is an amazing outpouring of love and support. This is my mom with all of her siblings and my grandma who all came for the funeral.  I have been overwhelmed by the love and support I have received from my friends.  They have taken my kids, brought me dinner and just let me know they care.  I didn't realize how much I needed that. 

We also had a lot of our cousins come in for the funeral.  It was so wonderful to have so much love and support.  I have been so impressed with Alexys and Dante's school.  Their principal and teacher came over to my mom's house to visit the kids and there were so many teachers and parents from the school who came to the viewing and funeral.  There are so many people that love Dante and Alexys and want to help.

Mel and Earl missed the pictures so all the men aren't in here, but we all have the most supportive wonderful spouses.  Every one of them has been wonderful and helping in a million different ways. 

We love to see my grandma.  She got to meet Hallee for the first time.  Too bad Hallee wouldn't let her hold her. 

Gary and Julie also got to meet Hallee for the first time.

I have already said this, but I don't know what I would do without Keith.  He is amazing. 

My dad's sister and her husband also came for the funeral.  Caitlyn fell in love with both of them.  She had a great time playing with Steve, it brought back so many memories of him playing and teasing me when I was little.  Caitlyn loved helping Sandy vacuum. 

It seems a little strange to post these pictures of all of us smiling at such a sad time.  I guess that is the wonderful news of the gospel, even in sad times we can have hope and we can have peace.  Although we miss Jen and life has been changed for all of us, we can still be happy.  We know that because of Christ we will be together with our families forever.  I'm sure it will take us all a long time to work through all of our emotions, but through it all we can have the peace and comfort that Christ offers to all of us.