Murray Park

Yesterday we met Tiff and Mel at Murray Park so I could take EJ's senior pictures.  Here is one of my favorites.  He sure is a handsome guy!  I can't believe he is almost done with High School.  He is so much fun to be around, he can even make pictures fun!

After I finished with his pictures I had fun taking pictures of everyone else. Caitlyn was thrilled to have some time with Amarie Tuesday and Wednesday.

Jonah was thrilled to stay over with the boys Tuesday night.  He was excited that he got to watch the Jazz game with them.  Apparently he told them all about his mom's brother Gary (like they didn't know who he was).  That is typical Jonah, he is in his own world.

I tried to get a picture of Wyatt and Rockwell doing their handshake, but I just caught their cute smiles at the end.  I love watching these two have fun together.

Stud alert! My goodness Rockwell is handsome!

These two goofy girls had a blast together and found all sorts of nasty garbage to collect.

I love the facial expressions that Damon makes.  He is such a fun boy!

The kids all had fun playing on the play ground for a little bit.

Speaking of studs!

My kids sure love their cousins.

EJ is always willing to make things fun for other people.

Damon went right down the biggest slide.  I was saying Hallee wouldn't do that and she proved me wrong and went down after him.

I'm glad we got some cousin time during Spring break.

Grandma took Caitlyn and Amarie to lunch for their birthdays. 

April 4th is always kind of a blah day because that is the day Jen died, I can't believe it has been five years!  Well yesterday morning we found out that grandma Hawkins died early Wednesday morning (April 4th).  Mom called me crying that morning just like she did five years ago when Jen died.  Death is hard.  Although I am relieved that grandma is out of pain and reunited with grandpa (he has been gone for just under 16 years) I am sad.  Yesterday when we got home I just laid in bed and cried and felt sad for a while.  I hate thinking about not seeing grandma again in this life.  I hate knowing I can never go over to their house again.  I cried because I miss Jen and I cried because I already miss my grandma. Last night I read over my e-mails she wrote me that I have saved.  It was fun to read those and look through pictures of my visits with her.  I haven't seen her for a while (which I'm kind of glad because all of my memories of her are of her healthy) but there was a while when I was able to see her often.  I'm so grateful for all of our visits and phone calls.   On top of the sad day yesterday Caitlyn had a bit of a panic attack.  The poor girl is really struggling with anxiety again.  We had to rush home that afternoon because she panicked while she was at lunch with grandma and Amarie.  I feel so helpless, I wish I could take it away from her. We have an appointment for her at the end of the month and I'm hoping that will offer her some relief.  Sometimes life is just stinky! Tomorrow me, Mel and Tiff are driving out for the funeral.  I don't know why, but the one time I'm guaranteed to blog is when I'm supposed to be packing, it happens every time!