I like Jen, she is a nice girl

The other day Wyatt and I were laying on the trampoline looking at the clouds and I was talking to him about heaven.  I asked him if he remembered Jen and he said, "I like Jen, she is a nice girl."  Last Friday was the one year mark since we lost Jen. It has been a roller coaster year. My emotions are still all over the place.  I found this picture of Jen when I was looking through Caitlyn's baby pictures.  I remember when I was a young I loved when people told me that I looked like her because I thought she was so pretty.  Pictures like this are hard for me because it makes me remember the good times.  When Jonah and I were at the Jazz game the other night I was thinking about how we used to watch the Jazz games at her apartment. We used to have fun getting our kids together and going on walks.  We would talk on the phone a lot and my phone battery would always die (we are definitely the talkers in the family). It is easier to remember the bad times because it is easier to be mad than think about how much I miss her. Addiction is a nasty thing and I feel like it took Jen away from me long before she died.  I'm glad she is not suffering with that and depression anymore, but  I wish the rest of the family wasn't still suffering.  There are plenty of good things and we are all so blessed, but things like this are hard!

Matt and Lori came into town for a long weekend.  It was wonderful to spend the weekend with my siblings.  We missed Gary though!  On Friday we went to lunch while Keith was a saint and stayed with the kids.  Later Me, mom, Matt and Lori went to the cemetery.  I'm not a big cemetery person, but it was nice to be with them and talk about things.  I am someone that needs to get my feelings out and be validated.  I love to talk to people who understand where I am coming and reassure me that what I'm feeling is okay.   My parents finalized Alexys and Dante's adoption a few weeks ago.  Those kids have been through a lot, but they are so blessed to have my parents.  They need a lot of love and attention and my parents are great at giving it to them.

Julie was in town for a short time for a mission reunion.  We were excited that she stayed at our house Friday night. We stayed up way too late talking, but it has been a long time since we have been able to have a kid free conversation!  Life has changed a lot since the days when I would drive to Provo every weekend to visit them or fly to Portland once a month when they moved.  I miss those days!

I had fun showing off my cute kids.  I'm glad that she knows a lot about the kids from reading this blog.  They were excited to have her here.  Wyatt was so excited to have her sleep in his bed.

The older three talked her ear off, but Hallee made her work for it.  She did give her five, but she wouldn't let me take a picture of the two of them.  Julie wasn't here long, but it was sure nice to have her here.

It is always fun to have Matt and Lori here.  You never know what will happen, late movies, soda runs and trips to Leatherby's are usually on the agenda.  Mom and dad were great and sent us siblings to Leatherby's.  I was glad that Keith got to come too!  I also talked my siblings into sneaking into the laundry room and eating ice cream sandwiches before dinner. 

Hallee loves to go to grandma's house.  She was being so funny and showing off for everyone.

She was shy with Matt and Lori at first, but it didn't take her long to warm up to them. 

Hallee and Mel are good buddies!