Being a Mom

I know Mother's Day is full of mixed emotions for a lot of women. I remember hating it while we were trying to have children, now I just look at it as a guilt free day off!   

I think sometimes I forget just how lucky I am to be a mom.  I mean look at these cute, goofy kids!  Time has passed and the pain and longing that I experienced while waiting for my kids has faded and sometimes I forget what a blessing it is to be a mom.  Being a mom is hard, it is the hardest thing I have ever loved.  

I have always loved kids and thought I would want a big family.  I love each one of my four kids more than I can describe, but oh boy four kids seems like a ton some days! The hardest thing for me and the biggest source of my guilt as a mother is the fact that I don't handle chaos well.  With four kids there is a lot of chaos!  I wish I could just smile and not stress the small stuff, but unfortunately I get overwhelmed very easily.   

I hate when I lose my temper with my kids, especially over silly things.  I want my kids to know how much I love them and I want them to know how special they are.  I have been doing better at not raising my voice and watching my tone with the kids.  It will always be something I have to work on. 

Being a mom has brought up feelings that I didn't even know I could feel.  I love more than I knew I could, I worry more than I knew I could, I cry more than I knew I could and I laugh more than I knew I could.  

I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a mother.  I have always wanted to be a mom even though I had no idea what I was getting into.  I love these kids so much and I hope that I can be the mom that they need and give them so much love and support that they can handle this crazy world they have to grow up in.  I hope they will always feel loved and safe in our home and I hope they will always want to spend time with their mom!