Goodbye for now

"Our loving wife, mother, sister, Patricia Wixom Loosli passed away at age 79 at Willow Wood Care Center in Holladay, Utah.  Born May 25, 1939 in Salt Lake City, Utah to Kenneth H. Wixom and Ruth Cupit Wixom.

She was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and married Garth C. Loosli in the Salt Lake Temple Nov. 14, 1958. They enjoyed a beautiful life together and had five beloved children.

Pat had many talents and hobbies. She enjoyed gardening, cooking, playing games and spending time with her husband. She loved to listen to music and watch old movies. She grew up in a loving home with her sister. She attended both East and West High Schools.  She loved her family and friends very much and enjoyed spending time with them. She took the time to show love and compassion to all people.

Patricia served faithfully in many callings in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Being a primary teacher was her most loved calling. She loved children so much and they were drawn to her loving spirit as well. Garth and Pat served a mission together in brazil and also at the Church Employment Center in Salt Lake City.

Pat died as she lived, surrounded by those she loved.

Her family would like to thank the staff at Willow Wood Care Center and Harmony Hospice in Holladay, Utah for her care.

Patricia is survived by her loving husband of 60 years, Garth C. Loosli, sister Katherine Eckhardt (Dennis), daughter; Kelly Williams. Sons; Kirk W. Loosli and Keith W. Loosli (Allison), and many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

She is preceded in death by her parents, her mother and father-in-law, and her beloved sons; Kenneth W. Loosli and Kip W. Loosli."

 

Keith's mom passed away last Tuesday night. It has been an emotional week.

On November 17th we went to Pat's nursing home to celebrate Garth's 84th birthday and their 60th wedding anniversary.  They brought Pat out in a wheelchair and she slept the whole time.  We couldn't wake her up.  She has been sleeping a lot for the past few months and it has been harder and harder to wake her up.  Caitlyn was really upset after the visit and really started to grieve at that point. 

The next Friday Garth got a call from the nursing home telling him that it wouldn't be long before Pat passed away. She had what they call the "death rattle."  Keith went up that night and stayed through most of the night before he finally came home for some sleep.  Caitlyn was really upset so I stayed home with her.  On Saturday Tiff took the little kids and I dropped Caitlyn off at Mel's so I could go up to the nursing home with Keith.  I stayed for a couple of hours and then headed home while Keith spent some more time with his mom and his family.

Keith snapped this picture when his dad nodded off.  This picture breaks my heart.  I can't imagine how it would feel to lose your spouse after 60 years of marriage.  He had a hard time when Pat went into the nursing home, but he visited her almost every day.  On Saturday he was standing by her casket before we closed it and he looked so frail and sad, it was tough to see.

We didn't want Caitlyn to go see Pat because she had such a hard time the last time we saw her, but she really wanted to see her and say goodbye.  The other kids didn't want to go, but Caitlyn really wanted to.  Keith and Caitlyn went up Monday night and spent some time with Pat.  It ended up being a really good thing for Caitlyn.  They gave her some private time to talk to grandma and say goodbye.  She said she cried and that was hard, but she was glad she did it.  After that she enjoyed talking to Keith's family and sharing memories about grandma.  On Tuesday night we got the call that she had passed away.  It was a tough night.

Keith's company was so great.  His boss insisted he take the rest of the week off of work and they sent this beautiful bouquet of flowers.  The beehives brought Caitlyn some flowers and a nice card too, it was so sweet.  On Thursday night we had Keith's company party.  Daniel told him that he hoped we could come even though he wouldn't be at work that day.  We were able to go and it was so nice.  It was at Tucanos.  It was so great to have a nice meal and just escape for a couple of hours.  Daniel called Keith Friday morning and offered to take both of us to Cancun for the week on Monday.  We were so sad that we had to say no because we didn't have passports.   That was so thoughtful and generous of them.

On Wednesday Keith and I went to the temple.  It was really nice and helped bring Keith some peace.  After that we went and bought Keith a new suit.  On Thursday Keith helped Garth make the funeral arrangements and on Friday we got everything together for our passports, we don't want to miss out on anymore opportunities and Keith wrote his talk for the funeral.

The great grandkids and our kids sang "A Childs Prayer" during the funeral.  I was pretty nervous about this because we didn't get to practice except for right before and there weren't a lot of kids.  Luckily Ben and Bethany's kids joined in and it sounded amazing.  You would have never guessed that they hadn't practiced for days.  After we picked the song Amy realized that it was the same song that Pat and Garth had kids sing at their missionary farewell. 

The funeral was so good.  Kirk read the eulogy and then the bishop asked him to share an experience that showed him that his mom loved him.  He talked about when he was in jail for a year and his mom would visit every week.  He said she made friends with the other families that were visiting.  Jefferson said that Pat met his grandma there, who was there visiting his dad.  Pat said, "these are my people."  That is a great example of how Pat showed unconditional love.  I think there were a lot of people inside and outside of her family that needed love and acceptance and they always found it with her.

Keith had a hard time writing his talk, but he did great.  He talked about some great memories and examples of how his mom showed love and shared things that other people had told him about her.  He tied it all in with the love that our Heavenly Father has for us the love that Jesus Christ has and because of Him we can find peace at these difficult times. Jefferson spoke and did a great job.  He found the cassette tape of Garth and Pat's mission farewell and shared some of that.  He told everyone that when they think about Pat and feel the love of their grandma/mother that it is the Holy Ghost witnessing to them that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. He tied it in so well with the purpose of life and the sealing power that seals us all together as families and to our Heavenly Father.  Everyone in the family really looks up to him and I would imagine that his talk had a big affect on them.  Katy gave a great talk and shared fun memories from when they were young. Jefferson and Katy lived with Garth and Pat for a while and Pat took care of them a lot when Kelly was struggling.  Amy told me one time that Jefferson and Katy think of Pat as a mom too because she helped raise them.  Katy took such good care of Pat and she is really going to miss her. 

Pat's cousin dedicated her grave. 

It was so cold!  Caitlyn sat down right next to Garth and gave him her jacket because he was so cold.  It was so sweet to see her taking such good care of her grandpa.

Caitlyn is a natural care giver.  She loves everyone, but she sure loves her grandparents.

Garth and the kids were very pleased with the funeral. 

 I have been thinking a lot about it and I think funerals give us a chance to see others the way our Heavenly Father sees them. It is hard not to get caught up in frustrations and annoyances with people and judge them by their short comings, but when someone dies you realize that all of those things didn't matter and what really mattered was the good times and what kind of person they were and what kind of person they were trying to be.  Pat and I struggled to find our roles with each other.  She was difficult to deal with sometimes, looking back now Keith thinks that the dementia started affecting her many years ago.  I wish I would have been more loving and patient with her, but I think we both did the best we could at the time.  Over the years Pat learned to love me for me and I learned to love her for her.  She was a wonderful mother and grandmother.  Keith has so many of her good qualities, especially her unconditional love and acceptance for everyone.  I'm so grateful to Pat for teaching Keith how to love and how to serve and for raising him to be the great man that he is. 

We will all miss Pat, but I am happy for her that she gets to rest now from her struggles and her trials that she had to go through in this life.  I know she is so happy to see her two sons again.  I'm so grateful for our knowledge of the plan of salvation, it really does take the sting out of death.