Journal Entry

I want to use my blog as my journal because I never write in my journal anymore.  I wrote in it up at girls camp and it had been over a year since I last wrote.  I keep current on pictures on here, but there are some other things I want to document so we can remember them. 
Life is going by so fast.  It seems like each year goes by quicker than the last one.  I can't believe Caitlyn will be in fifth grade this year, but at the same time I feel like she should be older.  She is so mature and wise for her years.  I wish she was twelve so she could join me in young women's.  Caitlyn is doing so much better with the anxiety.  I'm sure it is one of those things that will always be a problem for her, but it is in the back ground now instead of taking over her life.  She is such a spiritual girl, I hope she never loses that.
Jonah is mature in some areas, but lacks common sense in most situations.  He very rarely thinks before he acts.  I feel like I'm always on his case because he does the craziest things and has such a hard time listening.  He is a great boy though.  He has a tender heart and loves to make people smile.  Jonah makes me laugh.  I love to spend time with him one-on-one.  He is so sweet and he really looks out for me.
My days with Wyatt are either wonderful or awful.  He is pretty extreme in his moods.  We are wondering if he falls somewhere on the autism spectrum.  We are waiting for an appointment to start some testing.  I don't think it is anything serious, but he has a lot of characteristics that make us wonder.  I think in the long run Wyatt will be fine, I just want to make sure that we understand how to help him learn and grow and that he has the best chance for success in school.  I'm very hopeful that pre-school will really help him this year.  Wyatt has a heart of gold.  He is such a sweet, sensitive kid.
 Hallee is just hilarious.  She always has something funny to say.  She loves to dance, sing and play pretend.  I could just sit and watch her play pretend all day.  Hallee loves to play with other kids.  She is always telling me that she misses Tessa. I'm excited for some one-on-one time with Hallee this year while Wyatt is in pre-school.
Keith is enjoying his new calling as the Elders Quorum President.  He is a social person and enjoys working with the men in the ward.  His biggest task is to get out and visit people.  Most of the people in our area are inactive and a lot of records are outdated.  He is trying to see who still lives here and get to know everyone in the neighborhood.  He is perfect man for the job.  He is very genuine and sincere and people really like him. 
Work is a little frustrating for Keith right now.  He has been passed up for multiple jobs at work when he has been the most qualified.  Every job he has applied for has been given to a woman and most of the time these women are not qualified and have no idea what they are doing.  I know he has felt discouraged.  He continues to receive awards at work and everyone loves him there so we just don't understand why he isn't getting the promotions.  There are definitely some politics going on, but it is also hard to get hired into another department.  They usually end up hiring someone who is already in the department even though Keith is more qualified.  I'm confused because I feel so good about each job and I'm sure he is going to get it.  Keith has started looking outside of the company.  He has an interview on Friday that he is hopeful about.  I'm sure the right job is out there, but it is hard to wait.  Keith has been out of school for almost three years now.  He worked way too hard in school to not have it pay off.  We knew it wouldn't be an immediate pay off, but we thought we would be farther by now. 
Lately I have been feeling like we are being left behind.  It seems like everyone is moving forward and we are just standing still.  All of our friends have moved out of our neighborhood and our ward is down to pretty much nothing.  Most weeks there are about twelve kids total in the whole primary.  Sometimes I wonder if we should move to be by more kids, but it doesn't feel right or make a lot of sense to move when we are so close to Keith's work.  Even though I feel that way I'm so tired of people acting like we should move because our house is too small or because we live in West Valley!  I love our house and I'm grateful for it and no matter what people say West Valley isn't a bad place, at least our area.  We are willing to relocate for a job for Keith, but beyond that I doubt we will move.  I have been feeling like we have things to contribute here.  The advantage of Keith being in the same job is that his schedule is great.  There were a lot of years while he was in school and working nights that we couldn't do the busy callings, so I am glad we can contribute more now.  That doesn't mean I always have a good attitude about it though!
I do like being in young women's.  It is still new and intimidating, but I like it.  I really like the ladies I work with and the girls are great.  It pushes me out of my comfort zone and makes me want to run and hide sometimes, but I guess that means it is good for me!
Another thing I have been struggling with lately is finances.  I used to think that if I could get my kids out of diapers and off formula we would be set financially.  There were a few years there where the kids didn't cost a lot, but we have passed those days!  It seems like life is just getting more and more expensive.  I want the kids to be able to participate in activities and have a lot of neat experiences, but sometimes it is hard to know where to draw the line.  We like to get out and do fun things together, that is probably where we spend the most money "frivolously."  We have never gone into debt for anything besides a house and our van, but we aren't saving anything either.  I take care of the finances in our house and lately I feel like I'm not doing a very good job.  I don't know where the balance is of being wise financially, but still living life.  We just keep plugging away and so far it has all worked out. We have been stretched thin ever since Keith left grave yards and night shifts.  It was tough to lose 15% of our income, but I wouldn't go back to that schedule for any amount of money.  It wasn't good for our family.  We made it work and made the best of it while we had to, but I would rather pinch pennies than have Keith gone every night. 
Overall life is good.  We have our struggles like every one else, but we really do have a great life.